


A Shadow’s Monologue

by Pups_Side_Box (Puppyinabox)



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Character Study, Confession, Gen, Monologue, Swearing, camera crew - Freeform, canon typical self esteem problems, tell all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 10:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25469095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puppyinabox/pseuds/Pups_Side_Box
Summary: A character study i did of Guillermo i did because I’m feeling a lot right now and his story and voice are a good way for me to articulate it.No pairing, but references Guillermo having a crush on Nandor. Set ambiguously after/during season two.(Written in a blind/upset rage, please ignore typos)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	A Shadow’s Monologue

“He dances, you know? In the moonlight, when he thinks people don't notice. Even when he walks it’s a dance.” Guillermo’s voice shook as he spoke to the crew, “I’ve never… This reminds me of church in a way, confessional and all… right. Nandor. It’s always Nandor, isn't it? Nandor’s sad. Nandor’s hungry. Nandor wants to talk about his glory days… I wasted my glory days on him…” he chuckled, “all of my twenties, spent just… waiting on him, tending to him. He-“ his voice broke. “Excuse me.”

Guillermo stood and began pacing around the room before he started making a pot of coffee at the kitchenette behind him,  
“Need something to do with my hands…” he explained.”  
As the coffee dripped guillermo finished his thought,

“Nandor had everything I’d ever wanted. Everything I dreamt of. He had it all in the palm of his hand… and he very well could have shared.” He watched the coffee drip, thousands of words behind his silent eyes.

“I almost loved him for it. I thought I’d love myself like I loved him once I finally became what he was…” He grimaced in disgust, “I don’t know… probably not.”

Guillermo’s spoon clattered against the side of his mug as he stirred in the sugar and milk for his coffee,  
“Suppose I would’ve missed coffee… probably not. I dont even know anymore… eleven fucking years.” He took a sip, “I gave him eleven years and he gave me nothing.”

“I gave him my soul…” guillermo said, as if he’d only just realized it, “i really did… the things he made me do, made me hide… god…. God! Jesus fucking Christ!” He laughed with a hysteric air, “I- I helped him kill people, they had families! I-“

“I spent eleven years in his shadow, and all I have to show for it are stress lines on my face and a questionable set of morals.” Guillermo shook his head, “maybe if I… Maybe if I’d been better- no. No that’s not-“   
Guillermo gripped his mug tightly, “nadja didn't even know Jenna…. i- I knew Nandor. He knew me…. He knew everything about me yet acted each night like he forgot, Ike i was still the little nineteen year old pissant that showed up on his doorstep begging for immortality.” Guillermo’s voice was strained, as if his neck was clenched in someone’s fist, yet as he spoke he felt as though years of choking finally relented,

Guillermo gulped down the rest of his coffee, holding the mug and gesturing wildly while he continued,  
“I was nothing to him, less than nothing. Even if I became more, there was still an impossible length I had to go to to be anything to him. He was- he was so childish! And rude! And every problem was his, everything was about him. I lived in his shadow so much I was absorbed, I became part of it. It became me.”  
The mug shattered against the wall, black glazed white porcelain clattering to the floor. Guillermo panted through his nose, his fists clenched.   
“I hate him…” was the last piece of confession the crew could get from him before he broke down sobbing.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not doing all to well, and it feels almost like I’m breaking up with a friend? But I think it’s.... long overdue. Thank you for reading, I hope this was articulated well and I hope you enjoyed reading.


End file.
